The Girl I Could Never Have
by Saphire-089
Summary: He had always had a crush on her, but could she love him the way he loved her?


A/N: I know this isn't my best work, but It's something I've had in my head for a little bit, and I know it's a little unusual, but I'm into the angles no one has really ever thought about that much.

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I had always admired her from afar. Ever since the day I met her, I have thought that she was beautiful, even in her worst moments. 

I see her everday, and each time I see her, her hair is lush, black as midnight, mid-length, and sleek. But it's not just the way she looks that attracts me of course.

I speak of course of Yumi Ishiyama, the pretty Japanese girl who is a year ahead of myself. I always watch her when she enters school grounds. Yumi isn't a boarder here at Kadic Academy, but she is a day student, so I only get to see her until she has to go home after school. I wish I had more time to just hang out with her, and talk with her.

There are two other boys in our small group of five, well more like five. The fifth member is a computer program, and is well-liked in our group. In fact, Jeremie Belpois is in love with her, and hopes to one day materialize her here on earth, but for right now, she is computer bound. But that doesn't stop Jeremie for being head over heels, whether he fully realizes it or not.

I watch then, as Sissi Delmas approaches. Sissi is the spoiled rotten prinicpal's daughter, and uses this against us any chance she gets. She also thinks she can have whatever guy she wants to have. But one day, I will prove her wrong.

Today Sissi's mission is to do one thing; get the most popular guy in school to go to the school dance tonight with her. She even tries blackmail, but it backfires on her, forcing her to retreat, and try again another day.

I watch as she leaves. Yumi watches her as she leaves, and mumbles something about Sissi being such a pest. I, not wanting to miss this chance, immediately agree with her, which earns me a grin in response.

But none of us will be laughing tonight. Tonight is the school dance, and we're each taking someone. Well, except for Jeremie. The other boy I mentioned earlier is taking Millie Solovief, and didn't do it out of pity, like any other boy in this school would that has been asked by her. I think a small part of him likes Millie, and didn't like seeing her being made fun of by Sissi becasue she didn't have a date, which makes him a nice guy. I'm taking Yumi.

Yumi and I agree to meet at seven-forty-five, fifteen minutes before the dance starts. When I first saw her, she was amazing. She had a gothic style, but she was not gothic, although her style _was_ differant tonight. A black dress which looked beautiful on her. I had gotten dressed too, in a nice dress shirt, and my best pair of pants, because tonight is the only chance I have at impressing her. If I mess it up tonight, I'll have no chance. I need to grab this chance while I can. I take her hand, and lead her into the gym.

We reach the food table, and our small group meets here, to stop and chat for about fifteen minutes, before we start dancing. Yumi is a very good dancer, I on the other hand, am not. I keep accidently stepping on her feet, and she has to keep a slight distance from my feet, which makes slow dancing very hard, because you have to be closer together, and I step on her feet even more than before, accidently of course, I would never do this on purpose.

Soon, we are dancing the night away, and we decide to go outside to talk. Now is my chance. At first, we make small talk about the decorations of the dance, and who is going out with who, although neither of us really cares who's going out with who. The only person I care about going out with is her. Yumi. She's the one for me.

Soon, after much thought in silence, I voice my feelings. I do it in a way that I feel will be my best shot at expressing myself.

All my feelings are done in vain. Yumi explains to me that she is in love with another, but she won't say who. She tells me that she loves me as a friend, a brother, even, but I still love her, despite this. This saddens me, but I tell her that I understand, and we promise to never speak of this night ever again. We will go on with our lives, as if this night had never come to be, I had said nothing, and we had a date that night as friends, and had a good day. There will be no hard feelings.

We spend five minutes in silence out on one of the school benches, before going back into the gym. We decide to switch partners with Millie and her date. I take Millie, and do my best not to step on her feet. Surprisingly we don't do that badly with her. I look in Yumi's direction.

She is dancing with him. He holds her tightly to the last slow dance of the night. And also the most romantic music I'd heard all evening. I look away, but keep looking back towards them.

Their dancing is slightly awkward, and nervous, but otherwise pleasurable. And He never steps on her feet, not even once.

All the other couples nearby, admire and envy them, because they are the couple that would most likely be voted "Most Likely To Get Together." Whether they realize it or not, they are madly in love with each other.

Yumi is in love with a boy with chocolate brown hair, and beautiful green eyes, that always match his everday clothing.

And I know in my heart that Yumi could never love me like that and would never see me like that. But I can still dream, and my heart still clings to the hope of Yumi ever liking me.

I have not fully accepted the fact that I will probably left in the background, on the outside looking in. My mind has accepted the thought, but my heart has not.

From this moment, I will continue living. I will somehow find a way to get past this, and respect Yumi's feelings, no matter how I feel about them. I will promise myself this.

And I, Odd Della Robbia, intend to keep this promise to the best of my ability.

TWO YEARS LATER

I'm sitting across from my roommate, Ulrich Stern. We're sitting on our beds waiting for the girls to arrive. Jeremie has finally managed to materialize my "cousin" Aelita Stones. She isn't really my cousin, but it was the only way the principal would let her register at Kadic Academy. He of course doesn't know the truth about Aelita, but that's a completely differant story.

There is a knock at the door. Ulrich gets up, and lets Aelita, Yumi, and Jeremie in. Yumi immediately sits by Ulrich. They have been going out for five months, but it's an on-again-off-again relationship, because one is always jealous of another person like Sissi or William Dunbar getting in the way of their relationship.

It's been two years since prom night, and I have kept the promise I made to myself to get over Yumi. I don't have a crush on her anymore. The more I saw Ulrich's or Yumi's feelings develop, I slowly started walking away, and only got involved when Ulrich needed advice. Yumi and I have not discussed that talk once since that night. And I am counting my blessings, because it has not destroyed our friendship, and I'm thankful for that.

About a year after Prom night, Jeremie materialized Aelita, and I had slight crush on her too, but it diminished quickly. And pretty soon, Jeremie and Aelita built a relationship of their own, a very steady one in which their only problems were getting Jeremie off his computer.

As for me, a few weeks after Prom night, I started dating girl after girl to help myself get over my old crush, and to also find a love that might actually work. One that I had a shot at. I'm still looking for that special and lucky girl, but until then, I have to keep searching.

I will always love Yumi Ishiyama, just not the same way I used to.

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Please review and tell me what you honestly think. 


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